A selection of comedy content from throughout my career...
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Mental Health - you've got it! Whether you want it or not, you have it. It's like nipples... |
A Short Story ExcerptMy Grandad was an inventor and a scientist, who always had another idea. He invented heaps of things. He invented the car cupholder that pops out smoothly. He invented the self-cleaning bathroom. He helped invent the bull-clip. But those are boring compared to what he told me he invented when I was young boy.
He would get a gleam in his eye as he towered over me with his oven-mit hands clicking his finger joints “You have no idea how many ideas I've had!” he'd say. “I invented a talking gate that would welcome you home when you arrived and tell you if you forgot anything when you left” “I invented a voodoo scented candle!" (That's a candle where when you light it, somewhere someone you hate starts smelling like french vanilla.) “I invented the swivel pram, because people couldn't decide if the baby should face the world and feel abandoned by the parent, or face the parent and not be exposed to the world, so I invented a pram that when you pushed it the child would swivel. It was incredibly successful until the first generation of children grew up and couldn't walk straight.” |